Something I jotted down two weeks ago. May or may not have anything to do with me as a person. For reflection.
When I talk to you, I begin to act like you. When I look at you, I begin to copy you. When I learn of you, I begin to follow you.
I overthink everything I do around you, wondering if you would approve. I calculate my every move to draw your attention. I plan my words to impress you.
I get a heady feeling from talking to you. Any exchange of words sends me into ecstasy. Any sign that you accept and love me sends a thrill down my spine. It tells me I belong, that I am part of a group.
Why am I like this, so easily influenced? Because I fear isolation and estrangement. Because I fear the risk of developing my own opinions. And because I trust that there is a strong reason for you to believe what you do.
I am a sheep with no shepherd, a lemming with no leader, a country with no constitution.