Disgusted with the Human Race

No, don't worry, nothing drastic has happened in my life.

I've just been annoyed by people recently. It disgusts me, how petty/stupid/false people are, and it horrifies me, how prideful/hateful/unforgiving I can be.

There was a party at my house last night, and a bunch of families from my old church came over. Most of the teens sat around on the couch gossiping about who liked who and played truth or dare.

And speaking of my old church, the last time I went to that youth group was almost a month ago. And the only thing I discovered there that day was how the entire group was split into small cliques. (I usually spend my evenings there after the activities are over outside, talking with a few other outsiders, thereby creating another clique without meaning to.)

I have friends from Taiwan staying over at my house. This means my mother is stressed. So when she is speaking to me or my siblings, her voice is harsh and irritated, but then she will turn around and speak in a sweet voice to my friend's parents, as if nothing has happened.

My brother recently mistook something I said for something else. So he told me to shut up. I told him I didn't know I had said something wrong, and asked him to clarify. He clarified by telling me to shut up again, and stormed to his room, slammed the door closed, and began throwing things at the wall. He still hasn't told me what I said wrong, and won't admit to being wrong.

I was in a play recently, and all I could think of during rehearsals was how little the rest of the cast seemed to care for the show. They complained about how terrible things were going, and how stupid the entire thing was, but the minute the show actually finished, and people were telling them how wonderful they were, they brightened up and lapped up all the glory.

And of course, there's always the sheer stupidity of people around me. The sheer evil spoken of in newspaper headlines. The sheer pettiness of everyday conversation.

Humans sicken me. I sicken me, because I see myself joining in on these things, and falling for them every day.

Lord help us all...